Let me start by asking you a riddle.
I am someone, I have the power to make you cry, laugh and shout in annoyance at the same time. What am I?
Mehn…Nigerian lecturers are da worst. One minute they are busy smiling with you and telling you about their wives and children the next minute…they are announcing your name and score to the entire class.
Ah….and they clearly know that you are not proud of that 10/100 you scored.
They still announce it.
And speaking of tests and exams, what about the ones that throw them in your face every time their “you-can’t-even-find-the-answers-on-Wikipedia” questions are not answered in class.
There are all kinds and let me just tell you about a few you probably already know.
- The ones that likes to say nobody ever passes their course.
I don’t even usually understand this set. This ones are pioneers of this crazy idea that if you have the highest fail rate in school it means your course is a “ghen-ghen” course and should not be trifled with.
I am staring at you Mr Nsikan.
And they are always available on the first day of lectures to tell you crazy stories of how just one person had an A last session.
Funny thing is that at the end of the semester the pass rate is always higher than the fail rate.
Abeg… oga please stop lying jare.
- The ones that likes to minus marks from everything.
Woah… I once had a lecturer that takes this “minusing” thing to a serious next level.
He legit minuses his ¾ marks in every single place not to even talk about that ½ mark.
Like your result would come back to you and your score would be 38.376/100. The funny thing is that you will still find some peculiar students still arguing and struggling to get one 0.0037 mark the lecturer forgot.
Wo…I ain’t got time for this sir.
- The ones that always remember their days.
Like seriously…the first day in university is always dreadful, if you are supposed to have 6 lectures that day and you had 4.
Beht it with me that all your lecturers for that day had something to tell you about their days.
WHY, WHY, WHY, WHY, WHY, WHY????
I assure you in the name of olosogijina sir, that I do not freaking care.
I do not freaking care if you used candlestick to read or if you never had google.
I do freaking not care if you sat on mats in your classroom or used charcoal.
Stop telling me about your days sah…
Life has moved on, people have moved on, evolution has occurred, monkeys are now human beings.
- The ones that likes to insult.
- The ones that don’t want to retire.
Our grandpas and grandmas.
Ah, they started with education and must end with education.
They are so tiring, confusing and difficult to understand. You have got to tread lightly with them. They can say A and mean you should do B.
You cannot even try to argue for your 0.00376 mark and you cannot even tell them that the technology they are trying to explain to the class is now OBSOLETE.
Unless you are looking to carry over that course.
It is like someone trying to explain how to use a charcoal to write on a blackboard when we have got ELECTRONIC BOARDS now.
Or someone trying to teach me how to ride a donkey to work when we have got CARS, TRAINS and UBER now.
The untold reasons why this 88 years old lecturers won’t retire still baffles me.
I mean, COME ON…
P.S: Now you leave the types I haven’t mentioned in a comment below, I would definitely reply you, follow, share and don’t forget to subscribe.