The troubles of being a TwentySomething Nigerian.(Laughs and Lessons)

The troubles of being a TwentySomething Nigerian.(Laughs and Lessons)

Simply being Nigerian is tough. Being a twentysomething Nigerian is tougher. Trust me on this.
It is like sneaking into Wakanda and enjoying the Vibranium life for up to a year but suddenly you were caught and deported back to “God’s own country” – Nigeria. You never saw it coming, you never expererit “expected it” but it happened, and so will your twenties be like.
This Wakanda Story is what coming into the age of Ultron Twenty looks like, so many unexperere things will happen, you will be shocked, you will get over your shock, then you will be shocked again! By family, friends and Society.
Let me be your princess in shining armor and list the troubles of a TwentySomething child living in Nigeria for you, at least before you are deported there suddenly, and if you are already twenty, just be laughing at how life surprised and dealt with you in strange and unusual ways, it starts with this;

  1. Popsi and Momsi will suddenly expect you to have magical money.

Even though you explain to your parents a thousand times that you are not Kanayo Kanayo’s daughter or son.

TwentySomething Nigerian Troubles
I am not his offspring nau.

A thousand times they will still reply you with the same bad look saying “What do you mean you don’t have money? What about your own money? What did you do with it?”
It would be like the angels of wealth have finally decided to close their ears to your prayers for wealth after graduation. It will be your poorest season yet and you will wish to go back to school, only because of that monthly pocket money.

  1. Popsi and Momsi will start playing “the comparison with your mates” Game.

This will be the crying stage. You will be upset and crying at the same time.
Why?
Well, because the first time you decide to turn on the TV in a span of 120 days will be the exact moment Momsi will walk in and not fail to say…
“You are watching TV ehn, always watching TV! Do you know what your mates are already doing, just yesterday Biola got a Job in LAWMA, What are you doing?”
Popsi will look at you and say in the most unusual way possible “Have you been hearing anything from your mates lately? Anybody with a Job yet?”
Well, at least he tried to be subtle.

  1. Suddenly food will no longer be free.

Try eating the freshly cooked Jollof rice in the house and someone will not ask you why you did that?
“Why are you eating the food in the house, did you pay for it” says Popsi
Take Note: this is the point where you should learn how to cook whether ye be male or female. Your prepared meals will be your only meaningful contribution in their eyes and your passport in ensuring nobody asks you questions like that.

  1. Momsi will start Playing “Pairing game”

“Tolu, wo in case you find any good, rich, Yoruba guy, it is okay to marry o” Momsi’s Statement will shock you and you will be shocked {2x}.

TwentySomething Nigerian Troubles
Sai what?

But you will eventually get over your shock and move on, then…
“There are even some good Hausa men in my office…” she will say and the dark knight that is SHOCK will descend upon you ever so mightily again, like never before.
IMPORTANT ADVICE: Run for your life when this happens.

  1. You will not feel like getting ill anymore

The childhood/teenage years of you falling ill and everybody in the house will immediately start panicking and running outside to get you Lucozade boost will be long GONE … like the wind, those days will vanish right before your eyes.

TwentySomething Nigerian Troubles
The Childhood Panadol

You will say “Mummy I don’t feel so good” and she will say “Oya take Panadol or go to the hospital tomorrow” before she walks right back into her room to rest.
Don’t worry she still loves you.
You will experience some mean days right here, but you will survive these days, because you will choose not fall sick.

  1. Your Shady Life will end in your twenties. (No easy CASH no more)

There is nothing like easy cash again. The armed robbery days will end here.
The days where you will lie and tell Popsi you need money for School Project and you will use the money to organize your babe’s birthday or buy fine shoes and clothes.
GONE are the days, Mehnnn…
You will ask Popsi for money and he will ask you the – What, Whose, Whom, Where and Why of why you have need of the money.
And you cannot lie and say project because you convoked last month and everybody – the whole world – was around for your convocation ceremony.

  1. The Fairy Uncles and Aunties will DISAPPEAR.

    TwentySomething
    When someone understands the pain online

You will search and search for those uncles and aunties that use to give you small small cash and big big goodies when they visit and they will be nowhere to be found.
You will deliberately go to visit them and once you get to their house, they will use you to Wash, Iron, Sweep, Dust and clean all the cleanable, then put 500 Naira in your hands as you are about to leave while smiling at you, Saying Thank-You and telling you to visit more often.
It will be one of your darkest days yet.
But you will survive it.
Because you will never EVER Visit them again.

  1. You will eventually start your ‘8am to 5pm” Job and you will hate it.

    Starting a new Job like…

Your body will cry every time you have to wake up each morning without the option of “stabbing” i.e. not going to work.
Reading and applying 3 Awesomely Ridiculous ways to wake up at your desired time will help you out here.

  1. You will become a Roller-coaster of emotions.

There will be sad days, plenty I-have-got-no-money-days, sad days again then more I-have-got-no-money-days…
Basically your sad days and I-have-got-no-money-days are mutually exclusive.

  1. ….

Hey dear,
Tell me, what is your own idea of number 10? Tell me about something you are presently experiencing in your twenties that I have not mentioned above. List them out in the comment section below.
You see…
I wrote this to highlight the most important lesson everyone should know about their twenties, a lesson I am learning and this lesson is that…
“Being a TwentySomething is about RESPONSIBILITY” Click To Tweet
Having this Knowledge would be important so we do not to stay stuck in the past and comfort of what we are used to and be ready to move forward and accept what this new phase of life has to offer with total readiness.
“Being a TwentySomethingNigerian is about being ready to face challenges” Click To Tweet
“Being a TwentySomethingNigerian is about growing and leaning towards the stage of Independency” Click To Tweet
“Being a TwentySomethingNigerian is about recognizing that your parents are going to be your biggest SLY and biggest FAN yet” Click To Tweet
But sly most times.
I hope you laughed while reading this as much as I laughed while writing this. Kindly Subscribe and Comment below, apart from the fact that it is damn encouraging, I want to send you more Inspirational and hilariously funny “to-knows” on occasion.

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Author: Tolu

9 thoughts on “The troubles of being a TwentySomething Nigerian.(Laughs and Lessons)

  1. Why are your blogpost always so apt? I laughed all the way to the end 😂😂😂

    Never stop writing Tolu.

  2. It was really interesting. I could easily flow while reading it. Finally being twenty something in Nigeria makes you a better manager of little funds

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