There are some simple and basic rules to being an African child.
And when you have the Nigerian blood in you as a child, they can be pretty hard to follow. the rules are:
No 1. Do not get ya papa and mama angry.
No 2. Do not get ya papa and Mama angry
No 3. Thou shall not get thy Papa and Mama angry.
Well, because we Nigerian children just have big heads and like to step on the Lion’s toe too much, we always end up doing the exact opposite of this rules.
And that is why every Nigerian child can relate to this questions and understand how important it is not to give an answer to them.
5 questions your Nigerian parents would ask you when they are boiling with rage goes something like this:
- IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOUR HEAD?
The simple answer is to of course say nothing even though they will ask you like 5 times and keep saying “shey, you cannot answer ni”
But if you can risk it like some stubborn Nigerian chaps,
Say NO, start running away and don’t come back home that night. Just avoid your parents for like a day or two and you will be okay.
- SHEY YOU ARE NOT STUPID SHA? ARE YOU OKAY?
The number of times, you will be asked ehn…
You will just start doubting yourself and wondering if you are truly stupid or not.
- IRU OMO WO NI E, NITORI OLORUN? (What kind of child are you for God’s sake?)
After hearing the question for like 10 times and because you can’t reply back and sing “I am a chosen generation, called forth to show his excellence…”
You will start asking God yaself too.
Nigerian parents do put us in tough spots sometimes innit
- DO YOU WANT ME TO FLOG YOU? DO YOU WANT ME TO FLOG YOU? IT IS LIKE YOU WANT ME TO FLOG YOU ABI?
Funny thing is, you will still end up being flogged o.
- WHY DID YOU DO THAT EHN? WHY DID YOU DO THAT? WHAT SPIRIT IS INSIDE YOU THAT MADE YOU DO THAT?
And they still do not expect a reply, even though you know the spirit o.
Whenever your parents get to this question, just start expecting the flogging of your bum-bum if they haven’t already started sef.
photo credit: WBM , google images
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