How to be a Danfo driver in Naija

It is no longer news that “danfo driving” is a very profitable business in Nigeria. That is, if you are not one of all danfo drivers that end up smoking and drinking away the entire day’s profit later at night. Anyway, not anybody can be a danfo driver just like that, it takes some finesse and we at SBN are here to give you some tips on how it is done!

1. Speak with an intensely husky voice and dress like you just stepped out of your bedroom.

 When danfo drivers speak with an intensely husky voice and dress like you just stepped out of your bedroom.
Our facial expressions go like… but we still enter him danfo

Appearance is key here! Your preferable choice fashion clothing for the day is a white but brownish singlet made from hell paired with an important fashion accessory. Da Gold chain!

2. Treat people rudely

they treat people rudely

Because by owning a yellow vehicle you are the king of the world and if your passengers cannot understand that, then they are stupid!

3. Take swerves anyhow like the road was made for you.

When danfo drivers take swerves anyhow like the road was made for them.

Because if you don’t, who will? Don’t fear accidents at all, the gods of the road are with you and no private car owner would dare want to haggle the price for fixing his mirror with you. For crying out loud, you aren’t even collecting monthly salary like the rest of the world!

4. Know one or two LASTMA

always know one or two LASTMA

It will reduce your chances of getting caught when you do something stupid! Like still taking one-way when there is heavy traffic on the opposite lanes of the road. Like we said… the road was made for you!

5. Know all the “corner-corner” roads inside Lagos

If you don’t, then you are a mere bus driver, not a danfo driver! And daz jus not how starz do!

6. Not have a functioning seatbelt

Danfo drivers do not have a functioning seatbelt.

What on earth is it used for anyway?

Well, expect to escape dem FIRS and LASTMA guys. Those people are just suckers for disturbing your free body movement.

I hope this made you smile a little, comment below on more of what you think it takes to be a danfo driver in Lagos dear reader.

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Author: Tolu

Likes to dissect life and talk to unknown but cool people on the internet. That reminds me... Hello there!

3 thoughts on “How to be a Danfo driver in Naija

  1. Hahaha. Good one.

    You forgot to add “Deafen your passengers with fuji music from Saheed Osupa, Pasuma or Small Doctor blaring from your ‘Danfo Stereo’.”

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